When Blacks speak about their experiences, it is all to common for others who have no investment in the cause to energetically jump in and attempt to invalidate the discussion.

This post from a Black leader added to a longtime search for solutions to a serious problem:

The post referenced above by Franchez Conner reads:

Dear Black Parents: Stop Confusing Proximity With Protection

Every time a tragedy involving a Black child makes the news, many of us ask the same question. How could this happen? We search for answers. We wait for investigations. We hope justice will tell the whole story.

But there is another question Black parents should ask themselves.

Have we confused proximity with protection?

For years, many Black families have believed that getting their children into predominantly white schools, neighborhoods, and social circles is the key to success. The thinking is understandable. Better resources. Higher test scores. More opportunities. Better connections.

But one question often goes unasked.

Is my child truly safe there?

Safety is not only about locked doors and security cameras. Safety is also about belonging. It is about whether your child is believed when something goes wrong. It is about whether teachers notice when they are isolated. It is about whether administrators respond fairly. It is about whether classmates see them as a friend or as someone who does not quite belong.

I know this because I have been the only Black person in predominantly white spaces. I learned that being welcomed is not always the same as being accepted. Being invited is not always the same as being protected.

Read the full post by Franchez Conner

Another warning was issued in the comments:

But some chose  to offer a mini-clinic in being tone deaf:

How could she not see or understand the explicity stated point of both posts?

And another person (who to my knowledge has never contributed anything to the nonprofit Brown Like Me), felt the need to take the stage:

There is a real, well-documented phenomenon behind this: white and Black Americans often perceive the prevalence and severity of racism very differently, and that gap shows up consistently in survey data. Lived exposure plays a big role. People tend to underestimate discrimination they don’t personally experience. A 2024 Pew report found a majority of Black Americans reported experiencing racial discrimination in their lives, either regularly or from time to time.

Black Americans report racial profiling, workplace bias, and everyday slights at much higher rates than white Americans perceive them to occur. Definitions of racism differ. Many white Americans think of racism mainly as individual, intentional acts (slurs, explicit hostility). Many Black Americans and social scientists emphasize systemic/structural racism. They point out patterns in policing, lending, hiring. These are less visible if you’re not on the receiving end of it.

Believing racism is rare protects a belief that the system is basically fair (a “just world” bias), which is more psychologically comfortable for those not disadvantaged by it. Pew Research Center surveys have repeatedly found large gaps between Black and white Americans on whether the country has made enough progress on racial equality, and on how much discrimination Black Americans currently face in daily life. White respondents consistently rate both as less severe. Black adults (70%) are far more likely than Hispanic (40%), Asian (39%) and White (28%) adults to say Black people face a lot of discrimination. This finding exists despite the fact that large majorities across all groups agree Black people face at least some discrimination.

This gap is not simply a matter of one group being right and another wrong about a fixed set of facts. It’s a difference in vantage point. Discrimination that is routine for one person can be invisible to another. This is not because it isn’t happening, but because it isn’t happening to them. Or it isn’t being labeled the same way when it does.

Closing that gap doesn’t require anyone to abandon their own experience. It requires taking seriously that someone else’s account of the world. These accounts are backed by consistent survey data across decades, and deserve the same evidentiary weight as personal intuition. The data won’t settle every disagreement about causes or solutions. But it does make one thing hard to deny: the disparity in perception is real, measurable, and worth explaining, not explaining away.

• M.S.

REFERENCES:
Pew Research Center, “Views of How Much Discrimination Racial and Ethnic Groups in the U.S. Face” (May 20, 2025): https://www.pewresearch.org/politics/2025/05/20/views-of-how-much-discrimination-racial-and-ethnic-groups-in-the-u-s-face/

Pew Research Center, “Americans Are Divided on Whether Society Overlooks Racial Discrimination or Sees It Where It Doesn’t Exist” (2023, cited in ongoing coverage): https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/08/25/americans-are-divided-on-whether-society-overlooks-racial-discrimination-or-sees-it-where-it-doesnt-exist/

Pew Research Center, “Race in America 2019” https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/04/09/race-in-america-2019/